Do you ever lose anyone expectantly? Nope. I don't think so.
We lost a colleague, a good friend, a comedian, this weekend. When I say we, I mean the world. The world has lost out on Frankie. All those who never heard that laugh have missed out. All of those who never saw that spirit that carried him have missed out.
No one should die at 30.
I am so saddened, not only for the lose of Frankie, but for the pain that my friends are in. I haven't actually seen any of them, but their pain is evident in their online postings, their text messages.
One of the things that really strikes me is that Frankie was one of five boys. As a Mom of 4 boys, this touches my heart in a way I cannot explain. I loved to hear Frankie talk about growing up in a family of all boys. He adored his brothers. He could always relate to me when I was having a hard time dealing with my 4 boys. It was truly a blessing to know him.
I wish I could reach out to his mother. Most 30 year old men don't speak about their Mom the way that Frankie did. I remember when she was coming in for a visit a few months ago, he was so worried about mowing the lawn.
I will miss the contagious laughter. The sparkling eyes. The jokes. The man. The friend.
I wish you peace Frankie.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Cadan is about to start Kindergarten
We are getting ready this week. Today we had his 5 year check up. He is 48 pounds and 46 inches tall! He is over the 90th percentile on both metrics! He has weighed basically the same since he was 3 years old, he has just much taller and skinnier.
Tomorrow we will spend our last family day of the year. I plan on just hanging out at home with the boys and doing fun stuff.
Wednesday is the BIG day! We will get him registered and enrolled. Hopefully we will meet his teacher.
Cadan seems to be really looking forward to returning to school. Me, not so much. He is just growing up too fast!
I can remember walking him around the kitchen when he was just a tiny little thing, telling him about the adventures that we would take. I remember how sweet it was to just be in his presence. I would lay him beside me on the couch, when I just wanted to hold him, because I had been warned of spoiling him. I so clearly remember those first little steps across our living room floor. Back then, I couldn't wait for the next milestone. Now, I dread reaching the next.
Watching them grow up is so hard to do. Loving them is so easy.
Tomorrow we will spend our last family day of the year. I plan on just hanging out at home with the boys and doing fun stuff.
Wednesday is the BIG day! We will get him registered and enrolled. Hopefully we will meet his teacher.
Cadan seems to be really looking forward to returning to school. Me, not so much. He is just growing up too fast!
I can remember walking him around the kitchen when he was just a tiny little thing, telling him about the adventures that we would take. I remember how sweet it was to just be in his presence. I would lay him beside me on the couch, when I just wanted to hold him, because I had been warned of spoiling him. I so clearly remember those first little steps across our living room floor. Back then, I couldn't wait for the next milestone. Now, I dread reaching the next.
Watching them grow up is so hard to do. Loving them is so easy.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Up before the Sun... Again!
Yes, another very early morning for me. Carson fell asleep about 6 pm last evening, and woke at 4 am this morning. Sigh. I am sooooo tired.
Somehow, despite getting up so early, and not getting a nap, I was able to be productive yesterday. Steve and I managed to get almost all of the laundry washed and dried, and dumped into an unused crib in the unused baby's room. In other words, we have a whole lotta folding to do. The crib is full. We also were able to do a lot of cleaning in the main part of the house. It's nice to have a neater house. I won't say it is completely clean, we didn't get to the floors, but it is well on it's way.
I have really enjoyed watching Carson play by himself this morning. He is on the couch now playing with some sort of truck, saying "beep, beep, beep" as he drives it on the cushions. Kids are so different when they are alone versus in a group. My kids are almost always in a group, and Carson, being a typical 2 year old, in my experience anyway, does not like to share. He flat refuses to share his motorcycle toy. He will carry it around all day, clutched to his chest like it is made of precious metal. We have decided not to fight that battle any longer, and have instead told the other boys that the motorcycle belongs to Carson, and asked them to leave it alone. I know that this is probably not fair, but I have told them that they may choose a toy of their own to try to make it up to them. I have also reminded the big boys that they each have their own blankets that they carry around and no one is allowed to touch.
My Carson is such a beautiful boy. His brothers would correct me and say that instead he is handsome. He has a pile of dirty blond curls, fuzzy on top and tight in the back, that he twists into knots a couple of times a week with his sweet obsession with hair, he would twist mine into knots too if I would let him. I have not had his hair cut yet, at this point it is just barely long enough to cut. He has these green/brown eyes that sparkle like no other, and chubby little baby cheeks. In my eyes, which are admittedly biased, he looks just like a little angel.
Although, I am fully aware that he doesn't always act like an angel. He's two. Two is obviously a tough age. He is not a baby, yet still baby-ish. He still wears diapers or pull ups, he still takes his beloved be-be (aka pacifier). He has little tantrums that leave him kicking and screaming on the floor when we cannot understand him or satisfy his want of the moment. He is a big talker, with a heavy southern drawl. One and two syllable words are elongated to 3 or 4 syllables. The word house turns into hh-oww-oo-sss. It is about the most adorable thing I have ever heard, I love to just hear him talk. He is also a very good driver, he laps the house many times daily on his mini-Gator. He goes as fast as it will take him, skillfully avoiding obstacles like stumps, lawnmowers, and brothers.
Cars, as I call him about half the time, loves his brothers. Well, most of the time. He and Connor tend to tangle more than any of the rest of them. Being just days less than a year apart certainly contributes to their tangles. That, and they are both stubborn little boogers. Carson loves his Cadan the most, though, he calls him "Bubba." I strongly discouraged that for a long time, but in the end, it doesn't matter that much, and Cadan loves that Carson calls him that. I do too, it is like a term of endearment from little brother to big brother. Carson also does the role of big brother to Corbin very well. He calls him "Borby Ga-ga" and I have no idea where the ga-ga part came from. I bet Carson kissed his newborn baby brother 1000 times in the first week of his life. Now, he doesn't kiss him quite as much, but loves playing games of peek-a-boo and sharing cars, just not the motorcycle.
Carson tends to be more of a Daddy's boy these days, which is a little heart wrenching for me. When he was smaller, he wanted me or no one at all. I like to think he loved my cuddles and singing of lullabies, but truthfully, I had the longest hair for him to play with, and I let him do it, which Daddy would not. Now he dutifully follows his Daddy around, doing whatever Daddy asks. Major meltdowns happen when his Daddy goes anywhere without him. I don't know what it would be like if Steve ever went back to work.
Well, I could go on and on about my third little boy, I could go on and on about any of the four of them, but today Carson was really on my mind. As I said I was really enjoying watching him play by himself. Alas, though, that time is over, and Cadan and Corbin are now awake and about.
Somehow, despite getting up so early, and not getting a nap, I was able to be productive yesterday. Steve and I managed to get almost all of the laundry washed and dried, and dumped into an unused crib in the unused baby's room. In other words, we have a whole lotta folding to do. The crib is full. We also were able to do a lot of cleaning in the main part of the house. It's nice to have a neater house. I won't say it is completely clean, we didn't get to the floors, but it is well on it's way.
I have really enjoyed watching Carson play by himself this morning. He is on the couch now playing with some sort of truck, saying "beep, beep, beep" as he drives it on the cushions. Kids are so different when they are alone versus in a group. My kids are almost always in a group, and Carson, being a typical 2 year old, in my experience anyway, does not like to share. He flat refuses to share his motorcycle toy. He will carry it around all day, clutched to his chest like it is made of precious metal. We have decided not to fight that battle any longer, and have instead told the other boys that the motorcycle belongs to Carson, and asked them to leave it alone. I know that this is probably not fair, but I have told them that they may choose a toy of their own to try to make it up to them. I have also reminded the big boys that they each have their own blankets that they carry around and no one is allowed to touch.
My Carson is such a beautiful boy. His brothers would correct me and say that instead he is handsome. He has a pile of dirty blond curls, fuzzy on top and tight in the back, that he twists into knots a couple of times a week with his sweet obsession with hair, he would twist mine into knots too if I would let him. I have not had his hair cut yet, at this point it is just barely long enough to cut. He has these green/brown eyes that sparkle like no other, and chubby little baby cheeks. In my eyes, which are admittedly biased, he looks just like a little angel.
Although, I am fully aware that he doesn't always act like an angel. He's two. Two is obviously a tough age. He is not a baby, yet still baby-ish. He still wears diapers or pull ups, he still takes his beloved be-be (aka pacifier). He has little tantrums that leave him kicking and screaming on the floor when we cannot understand him or satisfy his want of the moment. He is a big talker, with a heavy southern drawl. One and two syllable words are elongated to 3 or 4 syllables. The word house turns into hh-oww-oo-sss. It is about the most adorable thing I have ever heard, I love to just hear him talk. He is also a very good driver, he laps the house many times daily on his mini-Gator. He goes as fast as it will take him, skillfully avoiding obstacles like stumps, lawnmowers, and brothers.
Cars, as I call him about half the time, loves his brothers. Well, most of the time. He and Connor tend to tangle more than any of the rest of them. Being just days less than a year apart certainly contributes to their tangles. That, and they are both stubborn little boogers. Carson loves his Cadan the most, though, he calls him "Bubba." I strongly discouraged that for a long time, but in the end, it doesn't matter that much, and Cadan loves that Carson calls him that. I do too, it is like a term of endearment from little brother to big brother. Carson also does the role of big brother to Corbin very well. He calls him "Borby Ga-ga" and I have no idea where the ga-ga part came from. I bet Carson kissed his newborn baby brother 1000 times in the first week of his life. Now, he doesn't kiss him quite as much, but loves playing games of peek-a-boo and sharing cars, just not the motorcycle.
Carson tends to be more of a Daddy's boy these days, which is a little heart wrenching for me. When he was smaller, he wanted me or no one at all. I like to think he loved my cuddles and singing of lullabies, but truthfully, I had the longest hair for him to play with, and I let him do it, which Daddy would not. Now he dutifully follows his Daddy around, doing whatever Daddy asks. Major meltdowns happen when his Daddy goes anywhere without him. I don't know what it would be like if Steve ever went back to work.
Well, I could go on and on about my third little boy, I could go on and on about any of the four of them, but today Carson was really on my mind. As I said I was really enjoying watching him play by himself. Alas, though, that time is over, and Cadan and Corbin are now awake and about.
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