The Day that will shape our lives forever Part 1

May 5, 2008.

Sounds like any other day of the year. It was a regular Monday. It was.

It started early, that last day of normalcy. We were up bright and early, Connor and Carson were due for their 1 and 2 year well checks at the pediatrician. We had a morning appointment, so we were out the door fast. I dropped Cadan off with Mom and we were on our way.

The visit went well, although the kids were a little wild. Steve went with me since they were both due for vaccinations that day. Two on one would not work.

Connor weighed in at 38 pounds and 38 inches tall, and Carson weighed 25 pounds and 31 inches tall. Connor is such a big boy, he is off the growth charts. Carson, on the other hand, is just about average.

It was all very... ordinary.

We met Mom and Dad, along with Cadan, for lunch. We had a very enjoyable lunch. Steve usually missed out on most family activities, he had been working crazy hours and 2 jobs for months. He started a new daytime weekend shift the weekend before. It was so nice to have him around.

The boys wanted to go back to my Mom's, or Nana, as they call her. I took Steve home and then I drove back to Mom's. I wanted Steve to be home to sign for a package I had been waiting on, a very important package, my new Blackberry. I had been without it since the previous Thursday. I did not back up the old one before the new one died, so I had lost all of my pictures, contacts, etcetera. Oh, and Steve was finally going to mow the yard, which is one of his most hated chores. At least he had help, his buddy Jacob was helping him.

I went back to Mom's to help get the boys down for their nap before my 1:30 pm dentist appointment. I had broken a tooth the week before, and I needed a filling. It was a quick and easy appointment. Steve called to let me know my new Blackberry had arrived and that he was getting it charged for me. I had my tooth filled and went happily on my way to the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner, we were planning on having hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill.

Once I made my way back to Mom's to pick up the boys, she suggested that she cook dinner, and make a taco ring for Steve, he had been requesting one. I accepted her offer, I love not having to cook, and I knew Steve would go for the taco ring. I decided to just hang out there until dinner, I don't remember why.

The boys and I just puddered around the house while Mom worked outside until time to make dinner. About 7:20 pm, Steve and Jacob came by, ready for dinner, but it wasn't ready. I told them that it would probably be another hour. Steve decided to take Jacob back to his truck, he could not wait on dinner.

Carson cried as his Daddy left. I don't even think I kissed him bye. I do remember he was smiling as he left, and he smelled very sweaty. I remember watching him walk away, smiling. He loves his boys so very much.

Mom and I worked in the kitchen, she started the salsa and I worked on the taco ring. Once I popped it into the oven, I decided to call Steve and tell him it would be just 20 more minutes. I thought I should remind him since he is not very punctual.

Steve's cell phone rang to voice mail, but I didn't leave a message. I sent him a quick, "Where are you?" text. As soon as I sat the phone back down, it rang, and it was Steve's phone number on the caller ID.

I answered, inpatient and busy, expecting Steve's voice.

Only, it wasn't. It sounded like Fred. Then, he is asking me questions. Who the hell answered Steve's phone? I told the man on the other end to put Steve on the phone. He asked me who I was talking about. I insisted again that he put my husband on the phone. He asked me to step outside so that I could hear what he was saying to me. The kids were in the music room with Dad, and they were screaming on his microphone.

He finally convinced me to go outside, and I went out onto the front porch. At this point, I was very confused. He introduced himself, and told me he was a police officer. He said something about a motorcycle, then something about an accident. He asked what Steve was wearing, and what he was driving. I told him that he was on the way home for dinner. What the hell was this man talking about?

Like a cold glass of water thrown in my face, what he was saying started sinking in. An accident? A motorcycle?

I opened the front door to the house and screamed for my Mom. It was this desperate, instinctive scream. Almost like a frightened baby.

Immediately, she came running. Still shaken and confused, I tried to repeat some of the information from the officer to Mom. I kept hearing "Calm down, mam." coming from the phone.

I was finally able to get out to Mom that there had been an accident. By then Dad had also come outside, as he had heard my scream over the boys. I asked the officer where Steve was going. He said he was being flown to a regional trauma center from the scene of the accident. What? Flown? He was going 70 miles away. All the officer could tell me is that he was breathing and fighting.

Breathing and fighting. Breathing and fighting. Breathing and fighting.

I must have said that to myself a million times on the long journey to the hospital.

More to come... I am very tired.