Happy Daylight Savings time! I am happy to see this sure sign of Spring just around the corner. I love Spring. It's a time of renewal, of faith, of commitment.
In an effort to change the focus of my blog, and record some of the sweet, happy memories, I want to tell y'all about a sweet moment with Cadan yesterday. Yes, it is very long winded, I like writing and telling stories, especially about my boys, there is a point... I promise.
So, a sweet, loving moment between two brothers...
I took Cadan, Connor, & Carson to their cousins birthday party yesterday afternoon. Corbin stayed home with Steve because they both have a nasty stomach bug that we didn't want to share. I cut the party a little short, because I needed to pick up a few things from the grocery store and I didn't want to be gone too long because Steve wasn't feeling that great. Now, we almost always go to Walmart for grocery shopping, but since I only needed a few things, I decided it would be quicker to go to Food Lion, our only other real choice in town.
As soon as we walked up to the store, the boys spotted the car cart, the one where two kids can ride in a car attached to the front of a buggy. Against my better judgement, I let them get the car cart. I knew it would be a hassle and it is a nightmare to try to push a 10 foot long cart around the store. Almost immediately the bickering began about who would go first and so on. I threatened to park the car cart and get a regular old cart, so they worked out their seating arrangements pretty quickly. We started in the produce department, and I was asking them what fruits and veggies they wanted. Of course with three little boys wanting everything in the store, my few things quickly multiplied as they asked for any and everything in sight. I had to tune them out a bit to try to concentrate on getting the things I needed to get. Before I knew what was going on, they were playing cops and robbers, Cadan was hiding around the corner as we turned the big giant car cart and Connor & Carson were pretending to shoot him, and they were starting to get a bit loud. I told them to quiet down and they settled a little bit, at least to a tolerable level. A few minutes after that I noticed that Connor was crying from inside the car, and Cadan & Carson were putting their butts in his face and happily singing "My butt's in your face!" I am pretty good at tuning them out, and grocery shopping takes some concentration for me, so I think their butts in the face game attracted other customers attention before it got mine, people were definitely looking. I scolded them as harshly as I could in a quiet voice, I was already a little embarrassed and I didn't want to draw more attention our way. The gig was up, though, and we had to get out of there as quickly as we could. I don't do well with them behaving badly in public, it makes me a bit crazy.
We finally made it to the checkout line, and our car cart was overflowing. I made Connor & Carson stay in the car so that I could better manage them and the the 50 other things going on,while Cadan & I unloaded the groceries for checkout. My little grocery trip for a few things ended up being more than $250! The bag boy couldn't fit all of my stuff into one cart, so I ended up having 2 to get out to the truck! I told Cadan to push one of the carts, the lighter one, and asked Connor & Carson to follow close behind me. I turned to make sure they were all following behind when I realized that Connor had stopped just a few feet past the checkout, pouting and stomping because we had to put the car cart away. I finally got him moving again when Cadan ran his cart into a display and got stuck. Before I could turn around and get back to him, a nice lady helped him get his cart free.
It was not at all the quick and easy trip to the grocery store that I had in mind when we stopped. I really couldn't believe how they acted.
While I unloaded the carts, I wondered what I should do to punish them for acting like little goons. Once I got into the truck, I asked them how they thought they acted. Cadan & Connor both dropped their heads, acknowledging that they didn't behave, but Carson insisted that he had behaved just fine. Mostly out of frustration, I told them that they were going to each get a spanking when we got home. I know that's not really a logical consequence, but it was the best I could come up with at the time. I was all out of patience.
On the way home, we talked about the way things went down in the store. They all said that they were sorry for the way they acted, and agreed that their behavior was unacceptable, which I appreciated. Of course next, they asked me not to give them a spanking. Now, I feel like I need to say here that spankings are very rare occurrences in our house. There is the occasional swat on the backside, but a real spanking almost never happens. I decided to offer a compromise since I hate spanking them every bit as much as they hate being spanked, and I really don't think that spanking them is all that productive. So I suggested that they could make it up to me by doing me a favor and carrying in the groceries. They took me up on it in a hurry, with only a bit of complaining coming from Carson.
We talked about the logistics of three little boys taking in so many groceries as we rode. I suggested that they each just take a couple of bags at a time. They were still concerned about the heavy bags and the gallons of milk, though. Cadan finally just asked if I would help them with some of the heavy stuff, and I told him that I would, even though that wasn't really the deal. It was a lot of groceries for the little guys to carry and, well, he asked so nicely. Steve says that I am just a softie, and I guess I am, I just don't like to turn them down when they ask for my help, even if it's a chore for misbehaving.
Now, Carson isn't a very good helper right now, I am hoping it's just a phase, he just doesn't want to put away toys or clothes or his cup or anything at all really, so getting him to actually help carry in the groceries was going to be a feat in itself. Well, just a few miles before we got home, Carson got really quiet, and I looked back to see fluttering eyelids. I tried to rouse him, but he was just so sleepy, and he was asleep in no time at all.
Once we pulled into the driveway, I said jokingly to Cadan & Connor, with a big silly grin on my face, that Carson wasn't going to help since he fell asleep, so he would have to get a spanking. Cadan looked at me so sincerely, and then he lovingly fluffed Carson's head full of crazy curls, and said, "Mama, don't spank Carsie, I will carry in his part."
That's it right there!! That's exactly it!! That is one of THE moments!!
Those moments are the reason that I love being a Mom to these boys. Those moments when I can see that, even if they choose to act up at the grocery store, and even if they don't seem to listen all the time or even any of the time, what we are saying to them is getting through, we are actually teaching them how to be kind, loving people. Steve & I are molding these little people to some day be big people, and somehow, by the Grace of God, we are doing a good job. These boys of mine are good boys, awesome, special, amazing, loving, happy boys.
The love that the boys show one another amazes me every single day. I hope I can always remember the look in Cadan's eyes as he stood up for his little brother, I hope I can always remember the way he patted Carson's curly head so sweetly, and openly showed his affection. I hope that the boys always remember how much they love each other, too. It is very, very important to me that the boys grow up and stay close to one another, I really want them to share a strong bond. I am sure that there will be circumstances as they get older that will cause friction between them, I just hope that Steve & I are able to instill the importance of family in them so that they can work through the kinks in their relationships. I know I cannot control how it turns out, but for now I can steer them in the right direction.
With one small gesture, Cadan wiped away all the frustrations I had from the trip to the grocery store. We all worked together to bring in and put away the groceries. It took a bit of prompting, but Carson pitched in, too. Steve brought their little red wagons out of the garage so that they wouldn't have to make so many trips.
My sweet boys make my day every single day. I am so very blessed.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Changing Focus - Sam's 4 Boys
Well, I certainly have not been keeping up with my blog. I am having a really hard time finding a place to begin again, a way to get reacquainted with my own words and thoughts. My goals have changed since I started this blog and my life has changed tremendously, all of our lives have changed. All of us have grown in different ways, we have all healed some of the wounds that were so fresh when I started this blog. The boys are certainly older and bigger, and hopefully, Steve and I are not only older, but smarter, too.
I have started many posts since my last one in October of last year, but I just haven't been able to finish them. I began this blog to recount a very painful time in our lives, a time when I was still reeling from the aftermath of Steve's accident. I needed to put the pain into words so that I could process exactly what I was feeling. Now I want to change gears.
What I want to do, what I need to do, is document the good times, too, and the mundane day-to-day life that we get to enjoy now, the ordinary that I so craved back then. I want my boys to read this blog someday when they are all grown up or even as they are growing up, and know that I truly enjoy them. I want them to be able to read my words, and maybe gain some wisdom and insight into what it is like to be their mother, to be a parent, to be a grown up, to be me. I want these words to be of some value to my sweet boys.
So, here's to a change of pace for Sam's 4 Boys...
It's been a full 6 months now since I have posted, and there is just no way to catch up. It's amazing the things that change in 6 months, and too, the things that stay the same.
My last post was about wanting my bed back, moving Corbin into the bed with his brothers. Well, that certainly has NOT happened, and that's ok by me. Corby is my last baby boy, and I want to enjoy these fleeting moments of babyhood. No one but me would consider him a baby at all. He's 2 1/2 now, he's starting to show interest in potty training, he's talking and telling me what he wants, he is trying his best to keep up with his big brothers, and doing a pretty good job at it, too. There is almost no denying that there is hardly any babyhood left. So, as much as it would be nice to sleep without toenails scraping my back, and waking up to "Be-be, Mama, be-be!" I cherish those last sleepy moments, when he snuggles up close, and his baby eyes flicker fighting the impending sleep. There is a sweetness to sleeping with your babies, a sweetness that I am going to miss when I finally do get my bed back.
I won't try to fool anyone into thinking that my Big Boys never sleep with me either, even now. Last Saturday night, the night before Connor & Carson's birthday party, Connor asked if he could sleep with me since the next day was his birthday party day. How could I say no to that? So, Corbin slept on the couch with his Daddy, and me and my Big Boys piled into my bed. Carson on one side, me on the other, with Connor in the middle, and Cadan at the foot of the bed, stretched all the way across. We watched cartoons and talked about the big day ahead, Con & Cars were so very excited about their birthday party. I woke up sore all over, but my heart felt so full and happy.
Piling up with the three Big Boys in my bedroom reminded me of the months before Steve's accident, when I was pregnant with Corbin. We had my queen size bed and a toddler bed in my bedroom back then. Steve was working nights, so it was just me and the boys at bedtime. Cadan was 3 years old, almost 4, Connor was just over 2 years old, and Carson was just over 1 year old. I didn't feel secure with them sleeping down the hall in another room, I wanted them as near to me as they could be. One of them would get put into the toddler bed, usually whoever fell asleep first, but by the time morning came along, we would all 4 be back in my bed, snuggled up every which way. Steve was usually stuck with the couch. Those were some of the happiest times I can ever remember.
These happy memories are the ones that I tend to tuck away in my mind, and unfortunately, I sometimes forget that they are there as I plod through another day, another week, and on and on. That is why I need to commit myself to writing some of them down, so that I can remember all over again, and so my boys can share in these cherished memories.
I have started many posts since my last one in October of last year, but I just haven't been able to finish them. I began this blog to recount a very painful time in our lives, a time when I was still reeling from the aftermath of Steve's accident. I needed to put the pain into words so that I could process exactly what I was feeling. Now I want to change gears.
What I want to do, what I need to do, is document the good times, too, and the mundane day-to-day life that we get to enjoy now, the ordinary that I so craved back then. I want my boys to read this blog someday when they are all grown up or even as they are growing up, and know that I truly enjoy them. I want them to be able to read my words, and maybe gain some wisdom and insight into what it is like to be their mother, to be a parent, to be a grown up, to be me. I want these words to be of some value to my sweet boys.
So, here's to a change of pace for Sam's 4 Boys...
It's been a full 6 months now since I have posted, and there is just no way to catch up. It's amazing the things that change in 6 months, and too, the things that stay the same.
My last post was about wanting my bed back, moving Corbin into the bed with his brothers. Well, that certainly has NOT happened, and that's ok by me. Corby is my last baby boy, and I want to enjoy these fleeting moments of babyhood. No one but me would consider him a baby at all. He's 2 1/2 now, he's starting to show interest in potty training, he's talking and telling me what he wants, he is trying his best to keep up with his big brothers, and doing a pretty good job at it, too. There is almost no denying that there is hardly any babyhood left. So, as much as it would be nice to sleep without toenails scraping my back, and waking up to "Be-be, Mama, be-be!" I cherish those last sleepy moments, when he snuggles up close, and his baby eyes flicker fighting the impending sleep. There is a sweetness to sleeping with your babies, a sweetness that I am going to miss when I finally do get my bed back.
I won't try to fool anyone into thinking that my Big Boys never sleep with me either, even now. Last Saturday night, the night before Connor & Carson's birthday party, Connor asked if he could sleep with me since the next day was his birthday party day. How could I say no to that? So, Corbin slept on the couch with his Daddy, and me and my Big Boys piled into my bed. Carson on one side, me on the other, with Connor in the middle, and Cadan at the foot of the bed, stretched all the way across. We watched cartoons and talked about the big day ahead, Con & Cars were so very excited about their birthday party. I woke up sore all over, but my heart felt so full and happy.
Piling up with the three Big Boys in my bedroom reminded me of the months before Steve's accident, when I was pregnant with Corbin. We had my queen size bed and a toddler bed in my bedroom back then. Steve was working nights, so it was just me and the boys at bedtime. Cadan was 3 years old, almost 4, Connor was just over 2 years old, and Carson was just over 1 year old. I didn't feel secure with them sleeping down the hall in another room, I wanted them as near to me as they could be. One of them would get put into the toddler bed, usually whoever fell asleep first, but by the time morning came along, we would all 4 be back in my bed, snuggled up every which way. Steve was usually stuck with the couch. Those were some of the happiest times I can ever remember.
These happy memories are the ones that I tend to tuck away in my mind, and unfortunately, I sometimes forget that they are there as I plod through another day, another week, and on and on. That is why I need to commit myself to writing some of them down, so that I can remember all over again, and so my boys can share in these cherished memories.
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